In The Company of Ghosts and Humans
by princessg101
Summary: Remus is struggling to cope with Sirius's death. What does someone do when they feel like they have lost everything?


The Tower

**A/N: Hey guys, just a little oneshot that came to me while writing for a Tick In Time. This takes place just before the summer after OOTP, how Remus dealt with Sirius's death.**

Remus John Lupin was in mourning. James had been gone for years, Peter was as good as dead to him, and now Sirius, his last friend, was gone too. It was much like when he came here two years previously only now it was absolute. He remembered how he felt his heart break when he played that boggart prank on Snape without his friends. He remembered seeing the imitation Snape in that ridiculous outfit and looking around expecting James or Sirius or Peter to be there laughing along with the class. But this time there was no miraculous twist that would bring his friends back. He didn't blame Harry at all, if he had thought Sirius was in trouble he would've gone to the ministry too. He remembered holding Harry back as the boy screamed for his godfather, wishing he could join him and beg Sirius to come back. All the family either of them had ever known just disappeared behind the veil. What was worse was that it was all a sick and twisted ruse playing on the one thing they all had in common – love. The love that bound them together like no spell could; the same love that was now crying out for a best friend that was gone forever. There was no grave for Sirius so where else could he go to grieve but to the site of all their happiest moments, Hogwarts. The students had left that morning leaving the place empty. Now he walked slowly through the grounds to the beech tree. He leaned back on the old wood and closed his eyes. If he tried hard enough he could almost hear them again, the air carrying their voices.

_OI EVANS!_

_Oh what now Potter?_

_Come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? _

_No, now leave me alone. _

_Slick Prongs_

_Just shut It Paddy. _

_No you shut it. _

_No you._

_No you. _

_No – _

"Will you both just shut it please," Remus quietly finished the familiar dialogue. He opened his eyes half-hoping to see them there like he had so many times before but he was alone. Tears streamed down his face, it seemed like horribly cruel irony that he used to tell them to be quiet so often and now he would give anything to hear from them. There was still one more place he had to go, He pushed away from the tree and headed towards the doors. The halls were empty and echoed each of his footsteps. He made his way to the portrait hole where the Fat Lady looked at him sympathetically as she swung forward. He clambered through and walked straight to the stairs that led to the dormitories. He knew exactly which room to go to and where to look for what he needed. Strangely it was the twins who reminded him about this, saying they had discovered it when one of George's galleons had fallen behind the bed. He charmed one of the beds forward and looked behind the headboard. There it was, almost just like how they left it. He noted somewhat humorously that the twins had added their own mark, probably before they made their great escape. His finger traced the large M under which he and his friends had carved their initials and under those was a W with the twins' initials. The memorial of mischief makers the twins had called it and right now Remus couldn't agree more.

Remus gulped as he struggled to find the right words. "Prongs, Padfoot-" his broke voice as the sobs started anew, "I miss you both so much. You were my brothers, my true family and now I'm alone. Just like when we buried you and Lily, James. I stood there by myself wishing to god it was all a bad dream. And Sirius? The first time I thought I lost you I tried to cope and I was almost okay but then you came back. In the beginning it was okay, you were on the run with only the occasional letter but we've spent so much time together this year. I was just getting used to having you with me again and now you're gone for good. I didn't even get a proper goodbye. What did you tell me when we were leaving? 'For god sake Remus, Harry is in trouble! It's not like the death eaters don't know that I'm around so can you please save the lecture until after we rescue my godson?' If I had known that was the last time I was ever going to speak to you… Tonks told me she loves me you know. I had to turn her away, I couldn't burden her with my life. So I lost another person I love. Yeah, I love her, she means everything to me but I can't bring her down. She can do better and when she does I'll be happy for her. What can I possibly offer her? A poor old wolf with no real future? I know what you two would say if you were here but you're not. Maybe that's a part of it, what if I lose her like I lost you? I don't think I could handle it. Just the thought of having my happiness shredded for third time and it being Tonks, it would kill me on the inside. I can almost sense you reaming me out from wherever you are. Why aren't you two here to kick my ass and tell me to man up?" Remus let his head fall against the wall behind him thinking back on all times they had together, "Why did it have to be you?" He sighed, wiping his face clean. He took one last long look at names before getting to his feet and replacing the bed. He went down the stairs one at time. There was no effort needed now, he could hear every old joke and laugh and shout swirling around him. He entered the common room looking exactly how he remembered it. He ran a hand over the furniture, smiling gently. He left the tower and at the school, walking the long path to the gates. He was shocked to see Tonks bracing the iron wrought bars. Her jacket was folded draped over her two arms and one leg was bent against the gate.

"What are you doing here?" Remus demanded.

Tonks simply looked at him, "What? I'm not allowed to speak with you either?" When he said nothing she went on, "Did you say your goodbyes?" She nodded towards the castle.

Remus stared at her coolly, "What if I didn't? What if I like hanging on to them? Is that a bad thing?"

"Ghosts don't seem like good company for the living," Tonks shrugged.

"I think they make excellent company," Remus curtly replied. "They never leave you," he couldn't stop the hurt from leaking into his voice.

"Only if you remember them right. If you're clinging to them because you can't accept they are gone then they're just haunting you. They live on in your heart Remus but you still have to admit they are dead and move on with your own life."

Remus growled, "He just died and you're already talking about moving on? How can you forget about him so easily?"

"I never said forget," Tonks shot right back, "I will never forget him. He was the only family I had outside my parents."

"Well for some of us, he was our only family period!"

"And you think that means your love was greater than mine. What about Harry – you could say you knew him for years whereas he knew Sirius for just two and spent what? A grand total of a couple months actually together, but that didn't stop him from literally trying to torture Bellatrix! Or better yet Hermione? They barely spent time together but when she woke up she cried her eyes out! Molly, who fought with him like a dog and a cat, had to sit down because she was so pale and shaking. We all loved him and we all miss him but you're the only one walking away." Tonks took a calming breath, "Look no one is asking to abandon your ghost friends but don't forget you have human ones too."

Remus huffed, "Is that all?"

Tonks rolled her eyes, "No, actually I came here because some of the Order members are going to have a few words with the Dursleys. I figured you could play Sirius's proxy, we both how much he wanted to meet them. But if you're too busy trying to be a living ghost far be it from me to stop you." She started to leave when Remus called out to her,

"Wait!" She turned and crossed her arms. Remus came to her, "I'm not going to apologize for missing my best friends but you are right, I'll try to remember my human friends. Do you think I could join them in scaring the daylight of Harry's relatives?" She laughed just a little and they walked towards Hogsmeade where they would apparate to King's Cross Station. Remus glanced at the castle behind him promising he would remember the living along with the ghosts. With the echoes of the past still flowing in the wind Remus whispered, "Goodbye."

**A/N: Love it? Hate it? Let me know with your reviews. Constructive criticism though please, flames shall be disregarded. **


End file.
